


give it a try (it'll be alright)

by firstlovelatespring



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: 3 times, 3+1, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-02-22
Packaged: 2019-11-03 16:57:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17881652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firstlovelatespring/pseuds/firstlovelatespring
Summary: Three times Izzy said "I love you," and one time Clary said it back.





	give it a try (it'll be alright)

_ i. _

Clary is still asleep. The light streaming through the gap in the curtains woke Izzy up minutes ago, but Clary’s eyelids stay gently closed and her chest rises and falls rhythmically. Looking at Clary, immobile but for the slightest of breath-related movements, Izzy feels almost like she does looking down at a cadaver in the lab. Not in a creepy way—what’s the same is the sheer vulnerability of a body before her, asleep or dead. Clary is so completely open in her sleep. 

Izzy props herself up on her elbow, facing Clary. She shifts, reaching out a hand to brush the hair from Clary’s forehead, and the bed squeaks. Izzy freezes mid-reach, but Clary shows no sign of stirring. Mission relocate hair is complete, and Izzy smiles to herself.

Never before has she woken up in bed with another girl. Well, there was that one-night stand with a Mundane last year, but that hardly counts. She was gone before Paula woke up, and that was probably the best thing for both of them. Waking up with Clary is decidedly different. First of all, they didn’t  _ do anything _ last night. That’s not what this is about. Clary isn’t a conquest, or a competitor; she’s a friend. Not that Isabelle would say no if Clary asked to be more. 

This is enough. Never has Izzy woken up with someone who makes her smile, beam until her cheeks hurt. Looking at Clary, Izzy’s heart feels too big for her ribcage, too big for her body. It hits her, fills her veins, almost like a blood-replenishing rune. 

“I love you,” she murmurs to a sleeping Clary, and pulls the sheets back over her and her best friend.

_ ii. _

Clary shouldn’t be surprised that Izzy hasn’t seen Star Wars, but her eyes go comically wide when she finds out. She really, really shouldn’t be surprised—not one of Simon’s references have landed with the Lightwoods. Izzy tries to tell her that she doesn’t need to see people fight on the sun, but Clary is already out door of her room, on the way down the stairs. Izzy laughs to herself, then sets off in Clary’s wake.

They end up at the Jade Wolf. Apparently Luke is some sort of Star Wars aficionado, because when Clary asks to borrow “the box set,” he knows exactly what she means.

Luke goes into the storeroom and emerges moments later with a box of DVDs, what looks like six or seven movies. Izzy groans dramatically, and Luke laughs.

“You know, it took a lot of convincing by your mother for me to pick ‘Garroway’ instead of ‘Skywalker,’” Luke says, a glint in his eye, and Izzy can’t tell if he’s joking. ‘Skywalker’ sounds about as real of a name as ‘Lightwood’ or ‘Fairchild,’ but she doesn’t say anything.

“Show her the ropes, you will,” Luke says as he hands over the box, his voice like some kind of creature that Izzy imagines to be green and diminutive. 

Clary laughs at what must be peak Star Wars humor, and thanks him before they go.

Clary wants to marathon all six movies back to back, but Izzy manages to convince her to start with just the one. They get comfortable in Izzy’s room, a process that has become somewhat of a ritual. Both girls change into pajamas, facing away from each other in the room, and climb under Izzy’s comforter. Izzy used to sit on the very edge of her side of the bed, not daring to move closer to Clary until they were both sleepy and hazy, but now she sits right next to Clary, even puts an arm around her shoulder. It’s a position that, she realizes too late, has her boobs right up against Clary’s shoulder. Izzy tenses up, and she feels a change in Clary’s breath, too, almost imperceptible, but neither of them moves. Izzy’s not quite ready to address what’s going on here, and Clary doesn’t bring it up, either. She presses play.

“So, what did you think?” Clary asks as the credits roll. She yawns, then leans her head on Izzy’s shoulder.

Izzy has a lot of thoughts on the metaphor of the Empire and how it makes sense in their evolving world, but there’s time to talk about that later. “I love you,” Izzy says instead, in her best Princess Leia voice.

“I know.”

 

_iii._

Clary has made enormous progress in her training, but it’s just that: she’s still in training. Izzy and Alec and Jace have been training their whole lives to kill demons, and Clary’s had a few months. Of course there are some missions she’s not invited on.

Today, the Lightwood siblings are tasked with killing a particularly nasty infestation of bat demons in an old warehouse in SoHo. Normally, the Institute would send a lot more than three teenage Shadowhunters to take on an infestation like this, but with the search for Valentine, they’re a bit short-staffed.

“Are you sure I can’t come with you guys?” Clary says, biting her lip. She’s followed them to the weapons room, and Alec is just barely concealing his aggravation.

“You’d just slow us down,” he snaps.

Jace is a bit gentler. “We’ve been training together for years. Alec and Izzy know I have their backs.” Alec’s expression brightens marginally as Jace squeezes his shoulder, but Clary frowns.

“They really couldn’t spare anyone else to go with you?” 

It’s cute that Clary’s worried, Izzy thinks. She hasn’t felt really, truly nervous about a mission in forever. Shadowhunters walk into danger all the time without a second thought. 

“We’ll be alright, Clary,” Izzy says, but she lingers behind after Jace and Alec have chosen their weapons.

Izzy turns up the charm, curls her whip around her wrist and gives Clary a wink. It’s easier to be blasé like this than to face the very real fact that any mission could be their last. 

Clary smiles back at her, and they’re about to leave to catch up with Jace and Alec when Izzy grabs her wrist, suddenly needing to get this off her chest.

“Clary, I—” She swallows. Isabelle Lightwood is not tearing up. Warriors don’t cry. “It’s dangerous, what we do, so I need you to know... Clary, I love you.”

Clary opens her arms, and cries Izzy’s tears for her onto her shoulder. 

 

_ +i. _

Magnus and Alec’s wedding is beautiful. It’s held in the Institute, in the very same room in which Alec almost married Lydia, but the room seems somehow bigger, lighter today. It’s possible that the enhancements are of the magical variety, arranged by Magnus, but it could also be the radiant smiles on the faces of the happy couple. 

Izzy is a bridesmaid. She stands at the altar in gold next to Catarina and Aline and grins at Clary, who’s sitting in the front row.

The organ music starts, and before Izzy knows it, Magnus and Alec are pronounced husband and husband. Then Magnus really does use his magic to vanish all the chairs, and the reception kicks off. There’s the first dance, and then a few with just the wedding party, during both of which Maryse and Simon snap about a thousand pictures each on their phones.

The string quartet starts playing a classical cover of a pop song that Izzy vaguely recognizes from the stereo in Simon’s van, and she pulls Clary onto the dance floor.

“Simon and I used to be so into this band in middle school. He is We,” Clary says, putting an arm around Izzy’s waist like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

“Yeah?” Izzy says, leading Clary in circles.

Clary laughs. “They’re, like, Christian rock. I have no idea why we used to listen to them.”

Izzy laughs too, not quite sure what to say. It’s a lot, being this close to Clary. It’s not always this distracting, doesn’t always make her pleasantly nervous, it does now. Izzy keeps meeting her eyes, and then looking away.

The song changes to something slow. Izzy is ready to sit back down at their table, but Clary pulls her closer, putting her head on Izzy’s shoulder.

“You know I love you, right, Isabelle?” she says, right in Izzy’s ear.

“Of course,” Izzy says, squeezing Clary’s hand.

Clary pulls back enough to look Izzy in the eye. She leans in, casual as ever, and kisses Izzy on the lips. It takes Izzy a moment—she’s still reeling from Clary’s words, still buzzing with  _ she loves me too— _ but she kisses back. Izzy smiles into the kiss. It’s one thing to know Clary’s feelings, or to guess at them, but another to hear them out loud.  _ She loves me too. _

**Author's Note:**

> I started working on this fic in 2016, and it's just been sitting in my WIP folder since then.... tonight was time to finally birth it into the world I guess. The title is from All About Us by He Is We.


End file.
